Distraction
by MireliAmbar
Summary: Based on the Redcliffe story and the aftermath of Isolde sacrificing herself. F!Cousland/Bann Teagan and how it affects Connor. Rated T. Reviews welcome. Continued in 'Distraction: The Truth'.


_This is based on the Redcliffe story, Isolde sacrificing herself for her son. Its based on Lydia Cousland wanting to be 'distracted' but the distraction wasn't quite what she thought it was going to be. And its my excuse to write Bann Hammer into a story ;)._

* * *

Distraction

It had been a long day. No, that was an understatement. The longest day he had ever experienced and not something he would ever want to repeat. Bann Teagan nursed a goblet of wine, rubbing his fingers over the cold glass, trying to bring his mind back to reality. He swallowed the rest of the wine and his thoughts went back to Isolde. It was a decision none of them undertook lightly but would they have been able to wait until the wardens came back to Redcliffe with the mages? There may not have been a need to sacrifice herself. With both parents either dead or dying, Uncle was now pushed up to surrogate father. He wasn't sure he was ready for that either, but what choice did he have?

He put the goblet on Eamon's oak desk and that was when he heard the muffled voices growing louder. Curious, he opened the study door a crack and saw a man and a woman talking in the large room in front of the stairwell. The two wardens, Alistair and Lydia. Their conversation was becoming heated and even though Teagan moved away from the door, he could still hear them talking.

'Why did you agree to Isolde sacrificing herself? Blood magic is, is just WRONG!'

'I didn't want Connor to die nor did I want to leave Redcliffe with so few knights and a rampaging demon on the loose! I made my decision as group leader. What would you have done?' Lydia's voice was biting and she hissed her question at Alistair.

'Nevermind what I would have done! You better hope we find the mythical Urn and Andraste's ashes _do_ cure the Arl or there'll be yet another orphaned child in Redcliffe Castle!'

Teagan heard heavy footsteps going back up stairs. Alistair, he presumed. He peered round the door and saw Lydia looking at the stairs, silent tears running down her face. She spun on her heel, running to the front door and out into the semi-darkness. Teagan rubbed his forehead with the pad of his thumb. All Alistair could see was himself, conveniently forgetting that Lydia was also now parentless. He pulled open the door and walked through the hallway.

* * *

Lydia ran down the deep stone steps into the courtyard. She had to resist the urge to run out of the front gate and keep going. Instead, she ran round the edge of the bottom step and felt her way to some barrels she had seen earlier. As a nobleman's daughter, she knew that castles always had hiding places. She wanted to be alone or more accurately away from the accusing looks she was getting from Alistair. Lydia sat on a barrel and leant forward, bile rising in her throat. She groaned and put her head in her hands.

'Lydia?' She thought it was Alistair at first but could tell from his silhouette it was Teagan.

'Bann Teagan, I'm sorry I thought I was alone.'

'Forgive me for prying but I heard your argument with Alistair.'

'Ah, then you'll have heard what an evil, heartless person I am to make the decision I did.' Lydia's voice was bitter.

'You're the group leader, there will always be decisions you make that others don't agree with.' Teagan sat on the barrel next to her.

Right at that moment, all she wanted to do was get drunk. Hang tomorrow's headache. Lydia looked at the man sat next to her, who's sister-in-law she had just had killed and asked 'I don't suppose you have any alcohol?'

'Ah, if in doubt get drunk. I think we might have some wine.' Teagan got off the barrel and held his hand out to her.

Lydia took the hand offered to her and they walked back up the steps into the castle.

* * *

Teagan walked back into the study with a flagon of wine and handed a goblet to Lydia. He noticed her green eyes were red-rimmed from crying and her long brown hair was pushed back behind her ears, a nervous habit of hers. He watched her as they talked. Bryce Cousland's youngest child, he thought. Bryce had tried to negotiate a marriage between him and Lydia a month prior to the Couslands' deaths. At the time, he remembered saying to Eamon he didn't want to be married to someone whose mother he remembered having a crush on. Yet now she was here, he noted she was much older than her age. Too old.

They talked yet no matter how hard they tried, the conversation always veered to the people they had lost, nearly lost or in limbo. Between them, their losses had been great over the last few months. He saw Lydia become more agitated and she sat almost wringing her hands.

'Teagan.'

'My lady?'.

'Please.' Lydia closed her eyes. 'As a Grey Warden, I am no longer a lady.'

'Lydia, what's troubling you?'

'Please don't think badly of me for this but...I don't want to be alone tonight.'

He watched the young woman in front of him, wondering if he had heard correctly. 'I thought you and Alistair were together?' He had seen the way that Alistair looked at her.

'He has never made mention of his feelings to me. And after tonight, I'm not sure I want to be with him. What he said hurt me a great deal.'

'I'm not sure I understand. You want me to _distract_ you?' Why did she make him feel as if she were the older, more experienced one?

'A distraction is a good way of saying it.' A ghost of a smile played upon her lips and it was then he saw the Teryn's daughter, not the Grey Warden. Her way of playing with him, the noble flirtation trained from a very young age.

She stood up and walked over to his chair, reached for his wine goblet and put it on the desk. 'Come Teagan, you and I both know where I'm going with this.' She perched on his chair arm and her low voice dulled his senses. As if I would say no, he thought.

He smiled as he pulled her onto his lap.

* * *

Lydia sat in the window seat in Teagan's bedroom, staring out into the seamless blue night. Teagan was lying in bed asleep. She knew he was exhausted and it was only partly to do with her. She wrapped her arms around her legs, the shirt she was wearing one she had found in his wardrobe. Before getting up, she had laid trying to sleep for what seemed hours, time seeming to stretch. Although her and Teagan's distraction had worked at the time, she knew it was a matter of time before the questions, the blame and the anger came back. Lydia wished she had gone with Alistair's suggestion. At least this way Connor would still have a mother. She sighed, watching the prone figure in the bed. Her first night in a bed for months and she got to share it as well. So what was she doing in the cold, when she could be warmed up and comfortable in bed? Enough self-flagellation, she thought. It wasn't her style.

Lydia stood and walked to her side of the bed, lifted the covers and was about to slip into the warmth when something stopped her. A child crying. Connor's room was directly across from Teagan's and there were few servants left at the castle. She looked at Teagan and was debating waking him when she heard Connor cry again. She sighed and knew it was the least she could do.

* * *

Teagan woke up and he was alone in bed. It was still night and too early for the servants to be up so he thought it odd that Lydia had already left. Then he heard it, a shushing noise and the small cries of a child. He knew it was Connor and got out of bed and put some clothes on. When he reached the door he realised Connor was talking, replying to a woman's voice. He walked quietly between the two bedrooms and looked through the door of Connor's bedroom.

Lydia and Connor knelt side by side on the window seat. He still sniffed from his tears but he had calmed down.

'You know your mother loved you, don't you?' Lydia said quietly.

'Yes.' Connor replied in a small voice.

'When she told you she loved you, how did it make you feel in here?' Lydia pointed at his chest.

'In my belly?' Connor grinned as he stared up at Lydia.

'No, silly, in your heart.' She laughed with him and tickled his stomach. Teagan was surprised at how good she was with him. She barely knew his nephew and already he was treating her like a friend.

'Did it make you feel all warm and happy inside?' Lydia asked him again, putting her arm across his shoulders. Connor nodded but looked as if he didn't want to talk about Isolde, not yet.

'Well, can you see that really bright star in the sky?' Lydia pointed out of the window. Connor looked up towards where Lydia was pointing and wiped his nose on the back of his hand.

'That's your mother's way of telling you she loves you. That star shines so bright _because_ she loves you, Connor.'

Teagan swallowed hard. He'd never been one for telling children that their loved ones were now with the angels but he knew Connor would not have an easy time of it over the next few years. Giving him something to remember his mother by was a good idea.

Lydia put her arm round Connor and leant him against her side, bending to kiss his head. She heard him crying again.

Teagan walked over to them both, putting his hands on their shoulders. Lydia squeezed his hand with hers, while Connor carried on crying. When Connor quietened down, Teagan led him to bed. Connor was nearly asleep on his feet. When Connor got into bed, he said in a small voice 'Will you stay with me until I fall asleep, Uncle Teagan?'

'Of course I will.' He knelt by his nephew's bed as Lydia slipped out of the door.

* * *

Next morning Teagan woke late to an empty bed and he could already tell from the noise outside his room that Connor was up and about.

'Here Angus!' Lydia's voice, listening as he got dressed.

'Can I play with Angus, Auntie Lydia?' Connor's voice sounded hopeful. Auntie Lydia? Teagan smiled as he heard that. Connor never used titles with his last fiancée. He must really like Lydia, he thought.

'You can play ball with him Connor, but go outside. I don't want to get into trouble for my dog breaking something.'

'Yay!' Connor said excitedly.

'You listen to me Angus be a good boy and don't jump up at Connor. Connor, if Angus jumps up at you, tell him 'No!' in a firm voice and he'll stop.' The dog woofed in agreement and Connor answered yes.

'Go on then, both of you.'

Teagan opened the door to see Lydia dressed in leather armour and crouched on the floor, still watching Connor and the mabari run down the passageway.

'It looks like you've lost your dog.'

Lydia walked over to him, smiling. 'Good morning, I thought you'd not be up for hours.' She kissed him on the cheek.

'Things to do, unfortunately. Are you fully diverted now?'

'You could say I feel much better than yesterday evening.' Lydia smiled a natural, genuine smile.

Teagan frowned slightly. 'I meant to tell you. Thank you for what you said to Connor. You didn't have to say it, though I think he'll need something to keep him going.'

Lydia looked at him. 'I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to. Besides, he reminds me of an older version of my nephew Oren.'

'Ah I see. He likes you, _Auntie _Lydia.' Teagan laughed at the look on her face, she seemed embarrassed.

'I didn't ask him to call me that you know!' She giggled.

'Shall I accompany you to breakfast, my lady?' Teagan grinned and held a hand out to her.

'Why not, ser.' She put her hand in his and they walked to the hall.

They ate breakfast by themselves, the rest of the group having already had theirs earlier. Lydia then started packing the rest of her belongings and made sure they hadn't left anything behind. It would be a while before they returned to Redcliffe. The group assembled in the courtyard, Alistair looking guiltily at Lydia. Teagan and Connor joined them.

Teagan said his goodbyes to the group one by one leaving Alistair and Lydia until last. Alistair he shook hands and quickly patted him on the arm. Meanwhile Lydia felt a tug on her hand: Connor.

She knelt down by him and gave him a hug.

'Bye Auntie Lydia.'

'Goodbye Connor. Remember what I told you and don't give Uncle Teagan any problems or I'll find out!' Lydia said in a jokey manner and kissed him on the forehead.

'Bleah kiss!' Connor said, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. The group laughed.

Teagan stepped forward and said in a low voice 'My turn.' He kissed her, long and hard and she heard a collective gasp from the rest of the group and 'WHAT!' from behind. Alistair. Leliana was trying to divert his attention.

'Take care and if you can't find the urn…' his voice trailed off. Lydia understood. He would have to deal with the consequences no matter what happened.

'I'll write to you and let you know, Teagan. Take care.' Lydia waved at them and the group left Redcliffe Castle.


End file.
